Monday, November 17, 2008

Living in a world of ideas

I've always had a rich internal life. Ideas, philosophy, plans fill my mind and my day. I wonder if that is why I've let those around me pick the music I listen to. I wonder if that is why dust can gather and I barely notice. I wonder if that is why my parenting was a contrast of intense interest and passivity. If the child or the employee or the friend were in my sphere of interest, they got the full glare of my attention.

Whereas some people need to be stimulated by their environment, "entertain me", it seems that I prefer to entertain myself.

It is my salvation, I think, to look outside myself, to stay engaged with those around me, to include them in my sphere of interest. When I get outside myself, I am good. Too much navel gazing and I become self-absorbed and fearful. After all, if any one of us look too closely, we are going to find some damaging flaws. (OMG! Fix it, fix it!) But the fix is not inside, it is out there.

With people. Dust and all.