Sleepwalking

This past weekend I went on a cleaning jag, throwing out many of my old papers and junk. I organized what I am keeping according to my interests. It is obvious that creativity and doing creative things is very important. That folder is two inches thick. My relationships folder, though, is thin. When I get on a jag, it is as if everything and everyone around me disappears for a while.

When I come out of my jag, I do expect them to pick up where I left them. Which must be unfair. In my mind, they are just as valuable and significant as they have always been. My children similarly have described those times when I took intense interest in their lives. It is as if my searchlight focus is suddenly on them. From the outside looking in, I must blink in and out of my people's lives.

I wonder, also, if my vivid inner life threatens to take over the real. Which could explain the gaps in my history (paper trail) where I just seem to disappear.

I know my salvation comes from being with people and being engaged with people. Let that powerful inner life shine through. Help people see what I see.